Caught in the Crossfire

That frail guy from Mahabharata, who was strong enough to bestow five sons on Kunti, but left his mortal coil out of sickness before he could warm the throne. He was the one I remembered first when I heard the word ‘Pandu’ uttered anywhere. The creator of Pandavas, and one of the main reasons Mahabharata happened, had such a unique name which I thought no one else shared. Before anyone of you starts thinking that I am going my friend Jairam’s way, let me tell you, I am not. Mythology interests me, but not today. Today I am all focused on Pandu, and Pandu alone.

So coming back to my center of attention, I thought Pandu was Pandava’s father only, till I heard that word in Bollywood movies. Especially those movies where people shot each other with guns as if they were playing Holi, and which mostly were shot in dark alleys with everyone testing your hearing abilities to the fullest, and whose posters read ‘Directed by Ram Gopal Verma’. It was here that I learnt, that Pandu also meant a cop. A Mumbaiyya cop, probably a constable, in particular. It was a delicious name to call a cop with, I thought – the commANDing pANDu. Whenever I heard the term in those underworld themed movies, it brought on a smile to my face.

But no, I am not here to talk about that Pandu either. My focus today is on another Pandu. A Swiss Pandu, if you will. This person came to haunt my life a few days ago. I was going about checking my mails one day, when I saw a mail from him, ‘Pandu’ in my gmail inbox. The subject read ‘Kids’ and it seemed to be a genuine mail, not spam. So I opened it, unaware of what I was letting myself into. β€œI am happy that our kids are fine…” it began. I was flummoxed. I looked around. Was this some kind of prank my husband was playing? I checked the mail id again. It looked nowhere near to my husband’s id. What was going on?

The mail went on to say how Mr. Pandu is sorry that he did not talk to our ‘kids’ when I called him. I assumed me for a second because he addressed the mail to Dear Yamini. But neither is my husband names Pandu (not even in our fiercest fights or our cuddliest moments) nor do I have ‘kids’. Not in plural anyway. My eyes darted to the To field of the mail. There were two ids there, one mine, and another almost similar, but with an year appended, which gmail linked to a Yamini with a different surname but starting from the same letter. Probably, the guy had been confused as to which was his former wife’s mail id, and decided to use both!

Now apparently both the sender and the intended recipient were couples once and are currently going through a rough patch in their lives, and the correct thing for me to do was perhaps stay out of it. And that I did, ignoring the mail. Pandu, however, doesn’t seem to have the intention to keep me out at all it seems. After he stormed his wife (and me) with a couple of mails, she must have replied to him. She is certainly a smart girl, for she just ‘replied’, not ‘replied all’. Then Pandu responded to this reply, deliberately adding me back to the chain! Apparently he did not want me to miss the fun!

I know it is improper to make someone’s life a joke, especially when it is on rocks. I did think long and hard before writing this post. Did I want to do this? Was this the right thing to do? Then I decided. Whatever! This guy was irking me so much with his mails that I had to sound off. And if he was trying so hard to earn his wife’s forgivance by shooting mail after mail at her, he would have to do better to remember her proper mail id, instead of pulling some random stranger too into the loop.

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5 comments on “Caught in the Crossfire

  1. Creepy, huh! All you need to do is mark that mail as Spam and the gmail filters will ensure that it never appears in your inbox again.

    And when you started with Pandu, for a moment I thought I had serious competition πŸ˜€

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  2. I don’t think you are being mean. After all, the guy brought it on himself, continuing to keep you . in the loop. BTW, and I cannot resist this πŸ™‚ Pandu was NOT the father of the Pandavas. He once killed a copulating sage and his wife while hunting and was cursed with death if he ever himself copulated. The five Pandavas were born through the boon Kunti received as a young girl, which said she could call on any god she chose and bear his child. Karna was the result of her first experiment. She chose to bear the first three and then passed over the rest of the boon to Madri, her co-wife, who bore Nakul and Sehdev. Pandu himself died as per the curse when he finally could not keep his hands off Madri. The guilt stricken Madri then committed sati. Thanks for bearing with me!

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